So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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