I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I FOUND THE LEGS
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
