State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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