Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize