Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
