dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
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