Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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