Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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