Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
