she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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