what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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