i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
