how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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