so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
