Dual....:-)
Say something about gay babies.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
