Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
