Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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