i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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