I heard we made out
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
