at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize