the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
