Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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