Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
