Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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