Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
