"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize