Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
