i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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