to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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