He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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