I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
