We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She needs sedatives and a leash
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
