If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
