that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Couch. On fire.
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