How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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