fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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