In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
