I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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