areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
