Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
