I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
