i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
