THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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