She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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