I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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