I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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