I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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