Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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