who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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