Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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