first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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