I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
