Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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