i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
