I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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