his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
