I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
