If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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